Octopus>Penguin

I allowed Michael the privilege of giving a cup preview from the rivals side and what does he do? Goes on a 2000 word Bill Simmons-like rant about absolutely nothing. But what else what we expect from our roof-falling friend?.

The series boils down to this: Who would win in a fight between a octopus and a penguin. It would be a battle, don't get me wrong, but how does the tentacled terror not come out on top? A little ink in the beak and eyes and it's all over, just like this series.

The Red Wings are the more talented team. If both teams played this series, healthy, and on ample rest, Wings win in 5. Yeah, Malkin is good. Crosby is alright, but c'mon, Peter Altschuler could grow a better playoff beard than him. Bill Guerin is 40 years old and looks like he should be in a just for men gel commercial. The Penguins do have some talent, but they have not played a defense like Detroit. When you are going against Lidstrom, Rafalski, Stuart, Kronwall,and Ericcson shift after shift, nothing comes easy. On the flip side, who is slowing down Franzen? Who is battling with Cleary and Holmstrom in front? I don't know if the Penguins are ready for the physicality of Detroit.

Like every playoff series, it's going to come down to the play of the goalies. If Ozzie or MAF can steal a game, their respective team is that much more likely to win the series. Ozzie has been here before. Another cup win makes him a hall of famer. MAF has been outstanding in these playoffs, but he faltered in last years series. We will see if the pressure gets to him once again.

Between the Red Wings injuries and the Penguins youth, I think this series goes 7. With the game tied 2-2 in the third, Zetterberg carries over the blue line, dipsy-do's around Hal Gill and lays a drop pass for the on-coming Nick Lidstrom. His signiture blast finds the top corner, giving the Red Wings there 12th Stanley Cup.

The Penguin Perpective

Ah yes my fellow maize and blue faithful. It is time that we turn against one another once again. The Burgh vs The D. Steel vs. Cars. Donnie Iris vs. Eminem. The Mustache vs. The Gun Shot Wound. I could go on but I will stop.

About this time last year I was just returning from Europe and I had two fun surprises awaiting me when I returned. The first was the Pens/Wings and the second was my job search. Luckily for me a year later I only have to focus on the one. (Although this series may cost me my job if their are some OT games.)

What took place last year was pretty clear. The veteran Wings slowed the Pens in the first two games. The Wings had the puck I think for the entire time for those two first games. (Game 1 here) Then the Pens realized the whole cycling the puck thing doesn't work if you don't have the puck. (Game 3 here) The Wings took control in Game 4. (here) The Wings were about to win it but Maxime "Call Me Max" Talbot stunned the crowd. (here) Fleury stands on his head and then Geno to Sykora to tear your hearts out. (here) Then you guys finish it off in the Burgh and raise that beautiful cup one more time. (here) (If you want a quick laugh check out the other videos this guys posts. Apparently someone likes the Ocarina of Time.)



That stung but the better team won. Like most everything else in life (Outside of losses to OSU, sorry I brought it up) it took me one beer to get over. I then of course had a few more and possibly one or two more after that. What are you going to do?

But here we are now. One year later. Hossa (and Conklin) jumped ship to you guys. Looked like a damn good choice 6 months into the season. No one is that upset because of the whole Super Bowl thing. The Pens were in shambles but then obviously made some solid trades and made the great move of firing the slave driver Therrien. The Pens start winning and Crosby and Malkin do their thing. But for the most part you know all this.

But what you don't know is about the robots. Not gonna go there but if you want to get to know the Pens better check out the Pens Blog. Shit ton of funny commentary and shows you how great the Pens fan base is.

So this has mostly been rambling but this shouldn't be a surprise to any of you because you know me. Onto this series...

Everybody and their mom is going to make the comparison to the last time their was a rematch in the Cup finals. The Edmonton vs Islanders comparison is fine but come on it has been a while. I think the most obvious thing is the Wings are the better team on paper. I mean you took our best winger. You guys have gotten here without Zetterberg or Datsyuk playing out of their minds or even playing at all. Osgood is as good a goalie as you could want. You have solid veteran talent who thinks the a Cup game is like any other game. Basically, I am telling you what you already know; you guys are a machine. I won't be shocked if you guys win it again. But...

I am here to be a yinzer. I think the Pens will do this. Crosby will show up because he always shows up. Our defense has been great. Malkin can't disappear. He is an obvious key to the series. The other key is MAF. (Fluery) He must steal at least one if not two from yinz guys in the D. The fact that the series starts Saturday and that we play again Sunday benefits us because of the obvious injury issue. Luckily for us NBC is retarded and is making the NHL do that. The Pens need to steal one of those and do their best to ensure a game 6. Game 6 is essential for the team without home ice because (like last year) if you can close us out on our home ice god bless. We win game 6, well then of course by simple counting, there will be a game 7. Not sure if the Pens can pull that off but if we get a game where we can win it to win the cup, I will have no complaints in this series. I will throw it out there to have some fun...Pens in 7. If we don't win I expect calls and you should expect this voice mail.



I heart all of you. No matter what happens, it is back to the Rich Rod show in two weeks. Go Pens!

Mike Roarty

"What You Know About" Wednesday

Alright so we missed the WYKA Wednesday feature this week, but since I am taking off work today, what better way to spend it then on this blog. So in the midst of the NBA Final Four (which Denver and Cleveland will win) and the recent NBA Draft Lottery, it got me thinking to feature one of the greatest big men the college game has ever seen, who re-defined the tree in the middle of the paint...

So this week, we ask...what you know about Bryant "Big Country" Reeves?

Standing 7 feet and over 275 lbs., it is no wonder college teams could not handle Big Country, who led his Oklahoma State team to the Final Four in 1995 (Michigan lost to W. Kentucky that year) before being knocked off by Tyus Edney and the UCLA Bruins.

In the '95 draft, Country was drafted 6th, between Kevin Garnett and Damon Stoudamire, as the first ever pick of the expansion Vancouver Grizzlies. Alongside the likes of Greg Anthony, Benoit Benjamin, and Blue Edwards, the Grizz were the worst team in basketball (mind you, this was pre-Shareef, Bibby, and Mike Dickerson). Reeves still averaged 13-16 pts/game his first three years and garnered a 6 yr/$62 mil contract. This contract is believed to be the reason the Vancouver Grizzlies no longer exist. Reeves eventually had weight control and injury issues, flaming out and retiring in 2001.


Here is a bit on what Big Country can do (just check like 0:54 in)

Big Country was a bigger version of Greg Ostertag. His numbers aren't bad, but he played in an era where there were no huge centers except Shaq. Even in today's NBA, he would struggle against PF's because of his limited athleticism. But nonetheless, I think he can be regarded has one of the best white post players in the past 15 years. Here's to you, Big Country Reeves

I will be in Salt Lake City this weekend, so Ryan is gonna have to hold it down. Shout out to Scott, who is gonna be in disguise as a grown man starting next week. Jay, I see you caking on facebook, stop it.

You guys remember Aaron Downey, who the Wings always bring up when we play against Donald Brashear? What is this guy thinking...

All-Larry Hachad Team

Mohamed Hachad is not a good looking man. Some of you may remember the Northwestern shooting guard who played from 03-07, one of the few players who ever gave other teams trouble. Well whenever Michigan took on Northwestern, all Wei and I could talk about was how ugly Hachad was. This started an idea for a whole new team, the Mohamed "Larry" Hachad all-ugly team. It seemed like new candidates popped up every single weekend. Without further ado, I would like to announce basketball's All-Larry Hachad first team:




Mohamed Hachad-The teams original member. He was at his best with his thin mustache and Wei Kung-like 9 hair beard.

Lorenzo Mata-Real: This dude got a lot of face time with UCLA making 3 straight final fours. The 'stache is icing the cake. My man is the only UCLA basketball player in history never to get laid.


Sam Cassell-A 15 year first teamer. I think he actually gets weirder looking with age. Though, apparently he has big kahunas.


Kurt Rambis-I know he's a little older, but he played in our time, and was a key contributer to a championship team at that. How you figure this dude was any good? If Wei saw him at a pickup game, he would call guarding Rambis quicker than an AI crossover. He didn't even go with the Rec Specs; just the straight glasses.



Popeye Jones-The picture says it all. This NBA bench player was Joe Smith before Joe Smith.





Hockey, football, and baseball teams to come soon....









Ryan



*Edit

Here are some honorable mentions that I feel can make a strong case for the squad. And stop hoeing Kurt Rambis just because he wore reading glasses

(In order: Hedo, Pat Ewing Sr., Adonal "Moneybags" Foyle, Kosta Hollingsworth, Sheldon)

Sheldon is one of those "what am I doing wrong?" self-examinations when you figure he pulled Candice Parker

Motown and the Chi City

Since Ryan was busy watching Kobe and Sasha Vujacic interact in Italian last night, he didn't have time to compile the preview, so once again I gotta clean up after him...


I'm feeling pretty good about this Wings/Hawks series, I think the Ducks were the best remaining team and we were pretty fortunate to get by them. Chicago's only chance to pull something off is the man to the left, Nikolai Khabibulin, who you probably remember from his days as the successor to Tim Cheveldae in Winnipeg. As Wings fans, or any NHL fan knows, any mismatch on paper can be neutralized with a hot goalie in the playoffs (see Kiprusoff, Giguere, Kolzig, Roloson, etc.) He took Tampa Bay (do they still have an NHL franchise?) to a Cup win a few years back and if he plays on his head, he can steal a game or two.

The Hawks haven't really been relevant since the Chris Chelios, Jeremy Roenick, and Ed Belfour days, but we all know they have the young guns after years of no. 1 picks. Kind of like that hoops squad they also got playing in the United Center. It's a lot like our matchup of the Pens last year, when the opponent had two top players (Sid, Malkin / Kane, Toews) and another complimentary player (Hossa / Havlat) who could be a threat. I feel fine shutting these guys down but the Hawks have some fast dudes in the back like Kronwall who can wet people.

I'm predicting Wings in 5.

And we have Darren Helm, so it will all be okay ---->

Who will the Wings play in the Finals? Looking like a rematch to me, the Pens will dispatch the Canes in a sweep (this one's for you Roarty). This series is a bit of a yawner, the only headline ESPN can come up with is the matchup of the Staal brothers. But honestly, on any single night in the NHL, you can pretty much bet on half the games featuring a matchup between players in the Staal family.

Pete, please tell me you are not a Hawks fan...

It is embarrassing enough to rep Vinny D.N. and the Bulls

I am so excited about Doc Emrick (Gus Johnson with a poetic side) and the NHL on NBC (be sure to check out the NBA on NBC theme in the related videos, too.)

Update

Brandon Inge update: .291, 10 HR, 27 RBI. Not too shabby.....

Red Wings v. Blackhawks preview to come later today...

Heated

Since Sam has yet to make an appearance in the comments section, maybe a little call out will get his attention. We're going to call this section, "In which instance did Wei make Sam the angriest". As we all know, Sam tends to get heated, and quickly at that. Sometimes Wei knows exactly how to push hit buttons. You guys be the judge.

Situation #1: The Gym

Wei and I head to the gym in Feb, trying to rally before spring break. Sam decides to join, even though he just had pneumonia. The on vertical bench press, with Wei spotting, Sam starts to struggle. Wei claims he was trying to make him push it, Sam says he was staring at a girl. Sam end up dropping the weight off BOTH sides of the bar, it slams to floor, and everybody looks. Wei just laughs, Sam leaves the gym.

Situation #2: Jimmy Johns

This may be the most disputed incident of all. With Sam smashing on his nightly Jimmy Johns, Wei gets up, walks right up to Sam's food, and rips ass right over it. This is apparently what Sam deserved for talking about Wei's mom. Wei and I both claim he only had chips left, though Sam's side includes half a sandwich. Either way, watching Sam walk his food to the trashcan like it had shit particles all over it was priceless.

Situation #3: Play-Action

Up nearly 40 points in NCAA football, and knowing the Sam already has anger issues when it comes to video games (*see Birch's mouth via fireplace on Sheehan), Wei picked up the onside kick after another score. With 10 seconds left, it looked like he would run the clock out. I knew Wei better though, and he faked the hand-off to the running back and threw the bomb down the sideline for one last score. Sam did the double floor stomp and Wei chuckled while Sam half broke one of birch's controllers (playing Tiger Woods golf in Birch's room is a whole other blog post).

You guys be the judge, did Sam deserve to be mad? And which instance was the best?

Ducks Over-"helm"-ed...Ha. ha.

I have a man-crush on Darren Helm. Forget it, I just have a crush on Darren Helm.


Can somebody explain to me what ESPNChicago.com is???


This man has taken a commanding lead in our Poll - only a few more days to vote

"Brick"

I don't regularly hate on members of my own team. Brandon Inge? Fine by me. Lindsey Hunter? A defensive FORCE. Dennis Rodman? Two-time defensive player of the year. But the trend stops for one: Chris "Brick" Graham. Or maybe it's "The Brick," for his resemblence on Saturday afternoons to something brown that comes out of an ass.

Coming out of Warren Central High School in Indiana, Graham was inexplicably given a four star rating by scouting website rivals.com. Even more baffling, Rivals rated him as the number one player out of Indiana AND the 15th best LB in the class of 2004. Clearly, Lloyd Carr wasn't the only one unable to gauge his abilities.

People I would rather play LB for my team than Chris Graham:

1. Jason Hanson

2. Shaky Jake (dead or alive)

3. The guy from Pizza House who offered to go down on his girl if she let him get a cheeseless pizza

4. Jean Birch

As a freshmen, "Brick" had his best season, totaling six tackles, but more importantly, saw zero snaps at linebacker. At this point, my Jerame Tuman jersey was safe. Then came 2005 (and 2006 and 2007), where the jersey was hidden back amongst the shoes from my junior year of high school and the C.J. Nitkowski autographed baseball. My favorite Chris Graham fact? In 46 games as a linebacker, Chris Graham totaled ONE sack. My second? After "climbing up all 32 teams draft boards" prior to the 2008 NFL Draft, Graham went undrafted but signed with New Orleans. He was cut less than three months later, and currently cannot crack the roster for the all-time worst and LB starved Detroit Lions. Probably time to hang 'em up kid.

I'll leave you with SI's assessment of him prior to the Draft:

"NEGATIVES: Inefficient and does not take proper angles. Late transitioning to run with tight ends in coverage."

--

Zach

What you know about Wednesday

So this post is delayed after the marathon game that I attended last night. Brandon Lyon is garbage. I was talking so much shit after I thought we were going to win on a balk. Though I forgot that Brandon Lyon is the new Todd Jones.

On the other hand, my ticket to the game was $4. Hot dogs? $1. Watching a game in the Metrodome? Whatever the opposite of priceless is, that place sucks. Target Field (yeah, that's right) can't open soon enough.

Before I chew on my fingernails all day awaiting Red Wings v. Ducks game 7, what you know about....

ARVYDAS SABONIS

The 30 year old rookie came into the league in the mid-90's and immediately took the crown for the smallest vertical from Bill Wennington. Good thing he was 7'3. Do you think he even new how to jump or run? Is it possible to do that and still play in the NBA? Apparently if you have a killer sky hook and drop the behind the back passes it is. There was NOTHING like the ageless late 90's battles between Sabonis and Vlade Divac. Marv Albert- "Sabonis with the FACIAL on Vlade". I just knew I was watching history unfold.

So let us know, what you know about Arvydas Sabonis?

It's a Wrap/Best Sports Movies

Side note: You know I'm a sucker for those heuristic stats Mike Tirico loves to throw out, but when an NHL team is leading 3-2 in a best-of-7 playoff series, they go on to win that series 80% of the time. Trust me, its over.

Brandon Inge (as of 5/13): .269

I've been thinking about the top sports movies, and here is what comes to mind:

3. (tie) Remember the Titans & Hard Ball: The coming together of Bertier and Julius is a life lesson everyone should learn. In the Keanu Reeves sleeper film, who can deny G-Baby and Big Poppa on the mound?

2. Rudy: For the soundtrack alone, but it always brings Ryan to tears. Only Free Willy 2 can also make that claim.

1. He Got Game: Ray Allen deserved an Emmy for this performance. I mean, having a father in prison, recruiting letters from the likes of John Chaney, taking care of his sister and cousin Booger, the agents, the girls, the roll calls...who can't relate to Jesus Shuttlesworth?

FYI, look out for a new feature me and Ryan like to call "What You Know About" Wednesdays. We'll profile a player from the past and if you see this player's name and think to yourself, "wayyyyyy too much"then this is for you. Whether its a memory of this player being the unsung hero on your NHL '94 Stanley Cup run, shooting a glowing puck next to the robots, catching fire in NBA JAM, being the victim of a Marv Albert "facial" on NBA on NBC, or your favorite Michigan special teamer pre-Darnell Hood/Carl Tabb, this player holds a special place in your heart.

Wei

Chill Factor

So I was sitting at work today, daydreaming harder than Wei in Chem 100, and started thinking about great sports moments. The best sports memories are ingrained in the membrane; you remember where you were, who you were with, what beverage was in hand, and most importantly, those chills. The goosebumps that run up your arms as you see the play unfold for the first time or the 99th time. It's what I like to call the chill factor. Breathtaking plays, tremendous games, and memorable seasons all rank as a 10 on the chill factor. With that said, while killing the last 2o min of work, I came up with (though struggled) to come up with my top 3 sports fan moments of my life.

3. Steve Yzerman-Game 7-Western Conference Semis

Double OT, Stevie snakes the puck away from the Great One, carries the puck over the blue line and fires a laser over John Casey's shoulder, off the post and into the net.

2. Mario Manningham's catch vs. Penn State

We all know what happened. What made this one for me was being there. Seeing the play unfold, Manningham cutting the post route and the henne cannon between the numbers. The celebration that ensued. Tossup with the MSU game as the greatest Michigan game I have ever seen.

1. Magglio's walk-off

A magical season with a storybook homerun to top it off. We were bad, just terrible, for my entire life. Every spring I talked myself into guys like Paul Bako, Shane Halter, Deivi Cruz, Dean Palmer, and Todd Jones (wait a second...), only to lose another 100 games. I don't care that we didn't win the world series in 2006, because it felt like we did. I was at my apartment, standing up the entire game, trying to catch the end of the Tigers before the big Michigan Penn State game. Most definitely a case of keystone deep when, on a 1-0 count....

There's a drive, deep to left, the Tigers, march, to the world series.....

Let me know your top 3.

-Ryan

Who's NOT My Tiger?

Since you all know me, it is understood that I hate Brandon Inge. I probably wouldn't hate him so much if everyone else in the world didn't love him. He is the definition of a mediocre player and was often the subject of heated arguments in 807. The constant defending of Inge, along with Ryan's absurd hatred for Magglio has prompted a bet: If Brandon Inge hits higher than .280, then Wei will buy Ryan a plane ticket to Dallas, while Wei gets a free trip to Minneapolis when Inge hits below.

Brandon Inge update: (as of 5/12) .280

You can argue all day if .300 defines a great hitter or not, but for a guy whose career average is .238 and draws a walk for every three K's, there should be no discussion. One season above .261 and four seasons below .206? This guy was only valuable when he was a catcher. While he does make the occassional spectacular play in the field, he is still good for around 20 errors over at third.

Tribute

Our first post is a tribute to Mark Jackson. Nobody celebrated a big play, backed down a defender for 20 seconds, or dropped a dime to Rik Smits like Mark Jackson. The shoulder shimmy started slow, then got going like a Zumaya fastball and couldn't be stopped. There was nothing more discouraging than having the 6 foot point guard from new york dancing all over your face right under the hoop.

If you don't think I did the same shimmy to numerous underclassmen during Friday afternoon pickup, than you are kidding yourself....

Check out the moves

Ryan

Welcome

Thanks for checking us out. After years of staying up until 3am arguing about Nick Markakis' batting average, whether Scottie Pippen is Hall of Fame worthy, and trying to reenact the Mark Jackson shimmy, we decided to share our arguments and musings with you. For those of you that know us, you might catch some of the inside jokes or remember the stump the schwab battles. For those of you who don't, well, we hope we are at least entertaining. If you like the NBA on NBC, guessing where former pro athletes went to college, Michigan and Detroit sports, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Larry Allen, hooping on court 4, or general bullshitting, than this is the blog for you. We will have tributes, polls, arguments and don't think we won't hoe a few old friends.

Although Holly has made his way to the frozen tundra of Minnesota and Wei landed in Cowboy country, our roots rest in the Ace Deuce. You know we ride Maize and Blue forever and wherever the bandwagon takes us so hop on, sit back and enjoy the ride.

-Ryan and Wei